September 28, 2016 5:30am
Dad wakes up at 4:30 every single morning if he has something to do that day or not. We are not entirely sure why he continues to get up so early being that he is retired but I can confirm this, when John is awake the entire house is awake. You have a better shot of sleeping through a 4th of July firework display than you are to make it through John putting away dishes in the middle of the night. Months ago I stopped setting my alarm and naturally wake up to the sound of the dog bowl being tripped over, Tupperware containers cascading out of the cabinet all over the floor, dishes being dropped in the sink and the creative aggravated phrases that come out of his mouth during the episode.
Layla, Dad’s favorite child is there with him every step of the way and as soon as Dad gets up Layla does too. If Dad forgets to wake up at 4:30 Layla is sure to remind him of this and will get him up so she can go outside.
First thing every morning Lucy and Layla go out for potty after they eat. They are well trained and go right outside staying in the yard to do their business. You have to keep a close eye on them because when they end up going number two you need to go find it, scoop it up to throw it in the bucket. Given the hour of the day when this event usually takes place you need to carefully go out with a flashlight to find it with the scoop… not your foot.
On this morning I let the dogs out and Dad already had his sneakers on so he goes outside with 2 mini flashlights scavenging the area like a search committee looking for a shipwreck. I direct him to the area of where the deposit happened and he keeps asking from the yard to me on the porch if he is close. I keep reassuring him that he is right in the area and is most likely on top of it. With out skipping a beat his classic reply simply stated, “Yep. Stepped in it!” Noticing that every nook and cranny of the sole of his shoe is covered in dog poop he starts to curse under his breath. Simultaneously I am laughing from the porch grateful that is not me.
He starts wiping his shoe in the grass to try and remove as much of the poop as visibly possible and then proceeds to walk in the house. We all know that it is still all over the bottom of this shoe.
Don’t tell Mom.
