Saturday April 26, 2020 6:00pm
Like the rest of you the Dorell family has had it with celebrating special events in quarantine but we are all trying to make the best of it. With Mom’s Birthday, Mother’s Day and Kenny and Tara’s First Anniversary all within a week and a half of each other there are only so many creative celebrations you can come up with. However, I will admit that my Dad has taken this as a personal challenge and leveled up without even trying, yet again.
Let us all start with wishing my beautiful Mom, Linda a Happy Birthday! She turned 58 on Sunday April 26th and made it another trip around the sun with John, just barely. She shares this Birthday with my other Mom and her twin, Aunt Lori. As we were on a video chat with the whole family that afternoon they informed us that this was the first birthday in 58 years that they did not spend together! So sad that Covid-19 has socially distanced all of us for the last few weeks but we can not wait to celebrate their Birthday as a family when quarantine is over!
Next we have Mother’s Day which was uneventful in the Dorell house this year. On Saturday afternoon I broke Mom out of quarantine to shop among the rest of the crazies at Costco and Target. We would have gone to Starbucks in our yoga pants to complete the rest of the “basic bitch” afternoon but they were closed. As we were leaving Dad asks if we want to take his photograph with us so we did not miss him. Before he could finish the sentence Mom was out the door and in the car with her seat belt fastened waiting for me. Perhaps she was ready for a John break! Sunday night she got her request of a gourmet dinner from Mooyah Burger. I laughed when I was told what the celebratory meal was but at the end they were the ones laughing. A sloppy burger with fries and a chocolate milkshake sounded so much better than the kale salad I was eating. It was exactly what she wanted and was happy on her Mother’s Day!
Finally we have Kenny and Tara celebrating their first Anniversary on Sunday May 10th, Congrats to them! Everyone still talks about this amazing wedding a year later! From the bride who looked like a model out of a magazine, the groom who could body double for James Bond, to the food, oh my goodness the food, it was the perfect day! I went on a 4 month Paleo diet for this wedding to go face first into the desert table at the end of the night and actually stole the dish on the way out the door. It was not the Casamigos that did me in that night, it was the cannoli’s. Congratulations guys, one year down and so many more to go!
This was my personal plate. 
I was not joking… And we used this dish at Christmas!
Needless to say we have had a lot of events going on in the last two weeks so it is acceptable to mix one or two up, right? Well John would say yes because that is exactly what happened to him. No matter what the holiday is I always make sure to call Dad at least 5 business days in advance to make sure he is aware and to see what I need to order for Mom. We started this celebratory assembly line after he forgot their Anniversary years ago when we were kids and some how 20 years later we still hear about it from Mom. For this reason I feel like I need to protect Dad from any additional scrutiny for forgetting any holiday ever again. By the way, did you know Flag day is Sunday June 14th this year? Mark your calendar, Linda gets flowers.
Getting a card is typically never an issue for Dad but reading them before writing is a continued struggle. Every holiday he will go to the dollar store and select the card that truly speaks to him, even if it is not celebrating what he is buying it for. Mother’s Day, Birthday, Anniversary, Easter, Quinceanera all the same to him! This time last year he got Mom a Mother’s Day card for her Birthday because he loved what the message read on the inside. He had no idea what he had done until he got home and filled it out, immediately fixing the issue by crossing out “Mother’s” and replacing it with “Birth”. When Mom opened it up she read it and laughed, this is not the first time and for sure will not be the last.
This year however I bought him the card so all he had to do was fill out the “To My Babes” at the top and “Love Ya, JD xoxo” at the bottom. So two weeks ago I show up at the Dorell house with some groceries and in a separate bag a card and gift card for Mom for her Birthday. I hand this bag directly to him and clearly direct him, “Dad, this is Mom’s Birthday card and the gift card. Take it and fill it out.” He thanks me and I watch him put the bag down on the counter and disappear into the spare bedroom. Confused as to where he was going I let it go and continued putting away groceries. Not even three minutes later he reappears into the kitchen holding a card and a pen and goes, “Um Babes, I think I did it again.” I look at him and look down at the bag that I gave him with the card in it (still on the counter) and look back up at him totally confused.
Conversation follows:
- Jill: “Dad, what are you holding?”
- Dad: “Well I thought it was your Mother’s Birthday card.”
- Jill: “What is that? Where did you get that card from? I just handed you the bag with it in it! It is still sitting on the counter!”
- Dad: “What bag?”
- Jill: Oh My God! The one I just handed to you and you put down when you walked into the other room! What is that and where did you get it?”
- Mom: (Looks up from across the room) “John! That is Kenny and Tara’s Anniversary card!”
- Jill: (Still confused) “Where did he get it from?”
- Mom: “It was on the counter! I do not have another one what am I going to do?”
- Dad: (Still confused as to which bag I was talking about, looks down at the card and reads it carefully now knowing he is in trouble) “Oh no.”
- Jill: (Starts laughing) “How did you mess that up so quickly? I just handed you the bag! Here!”
- Dad: (Takes the bag I gave him originally, starts laughing and walks back into his office to complete filling out the correct card.) “Lets try this again.”
- Mom: (Shaking her head) “I really can not make this up, what am I going to do now?”
- Jill: “Send it to them. Once they see Dad’s handwriting with “To My Babes” at the top they will know exactly what happened.”
- Mom: “Yep, happening.”
Clearly he did not read the front… 
…Before he opened it to start filling it out. Notice how far he made before he caught himself!
Dad reappears four minutes later with the correct card and presents it to my Mother. Surprise, Happy Birthday! Clearly she didn’t see this one coming. Later that day this card was filled out by both of my parents and mailed to Kenny and Tara for their Anniversary. There is no better way to receive warm wishes on your First Anniversary than a card that is half filled out for a Birthday and half filled out for an Anniversary from a couple who has been living in 35 years of pure marital bliss.
Happy AnniBIRTHary Kenny and Tara! If Linda can make it this far, Tara there is hope! The Dorell men are one of a kind, best of luck! May your love grow larger as the years pass and you appreciate the moments like this together for next 35 years and beyond.
